The Girl Who Came From All That Space
by drowningsiren
Summary: Crazy things happen when Xela, an alien runaway, crashes in front of Dib's yard. Rated T 4 violance, bad lingo, and a kidneyeating old lady named Doxy.
1. Chapter 1

The Girl who Came From all That Space

(A/N: O.K. gang, here you have a classic boy meets girl scenario, only add a few pounds of insane humor to the recipe, and you get this crazy story.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. That's Jhonen Vasquez's job.

Ch 1:Xela: the eccentric new girl

Miles above the Earth, a spaceship orbited the atmosphere. It was small in appearance, like an escape pod, and could only house one person. The said person was gazing down at the planet before her. "It's so beautiful... like a blue and green gem." The young woman looked around her mid-teens. Her wavy hair was snow-white, and tumbled for a few inches past her shoulders. Her skin was a tan hue, like she had at one time spent many hours in the sun. Other than her cat-like ears and tail, she looked human. Still, the girl stared at the planet with her cobalt blue eyes, only to be brought out of the trance by a sudden and just as loud BANG! _**'CRITICAL HIT! CRITICAL HIT!' **_Her computer blared. "What the-" there was a beep on the control panel as a message came in to her from her assailant. "Pathetic space drifter! You will not take my mission away from me- this planet is mine! **_I AM ZIM!"_** The transmission was cut off as the alien's ship(the girl's, not Zim's) came crashing down to planet Earth. _"If I don't do something now, I'll die." _the girl thought to herself. At first, she couldn't think of something, but then it hit her. "That's it! Computer! Switch on the reverse thrusters!" As the computer did as it was told, The girl put on the space helmet( which looked remarkably like the motorcycle helmets that cover your entire head) that matched her maroonand white jumpsuit. _"Now the only thing I have to worry about now is what to do once I land..."_

On earth, somewhere around nighttime, a paranormal investigator just the same age as the girl (about 17 earth years) peered through a telescope to the sky. "Dad! Dad! You gotta come see this!" Instantly, Professor Membrane burst onto the roof. "What is it son? Have you given up your insane dreams and decided to study real science?"

"No! A spaceship is falling from the sky, and it's gonna land in our neighborhood" Disappointed, Prof. Membrane shook his head, saying "I remember a time when I was that insane..." And left the roof, muttering to himself further. Dib just ignored his father and looked up to the sky. "I wonder who it is in that spaceship..." _Crash! _The girl's spaceship crash-landed right in front of Dib's house. Eager to see who was inside Dib leaped off the roof, Alien sleep-cuffs at hand. The Ship was silver-colered and shaped like a mouse (the computer kind, not the animal kind). Cautiously, he approached the ship. Then, without warning, the door in front opened up, and a figure fell out. Dib rushed over. He saw the figure was that of a young woman, around his age, or at least that's what he was guessing; he couldn't see the face behind the well-tinted helmet. But before Dib could remove the helmet, The girl regained consciousness. She hit the paranormal investigator's hand away and leaped back into her ship, hoping it was still in working condition. It was, but it couldn't hover higher than twenty feet. The girl used this to her advantage to get away from the strange boy. As she flew off to who knows where, Dib shouted to his sister. "Gaz! Did you see that? An alien!" Gaz opened up her window...and threw an empty Poop cola can at him, which gave him a steady amount of head trauma. "Don't bother me Dib! I'm almost at the last level!" As his sister closed her window with an echoing _Slam!_, Dib sighed. "Fine. If no one will believe me, them, I'll have to find this alien and expose her facade and make them believe..."

Two days later, at the High Skool...

"Class, due to the decay in the sympathy of overworked teachers, the school board has decided to add a new student to the classroom" Ms. Bitters had taken the job at the High Skool as the new Ancient World History Teacher since the old Ancient World History teacher, Mr. Cartstensen, was abducted by aliens and had not returned yet. Anyway, back to the story..

The new student, as you would have guessed, was the very same girl who crashed her spaceship in front of Dib's yard, only this time her cat ears and tail were missing. She flipped back her snowy white hair and flashed her cobalt blue eyes at the class. "Hello. My name's Xela. I just moved here from New Jersey." The room, seeing that it was still morning, was slow to respond. "Hello Xela." Everyone said monotonously. Xela flashed them a quizzical look. "What is this? An AA meeting? Wake up, people! Life doesn't last forever!" Xela looked to Dib, who was making the same face when he first saw Zim. "Take that guy(points to Dib) for example. He's awake, quite bright-eyed and bushy-tailed if you ask me-"

"_**YOU'RE THE ALIEN! I KNOW YOU ARE!"**_

"Excuse me?"

"Everyone, you have to believe me! Two days ago an alien spaceship crash-landed in the street in front of my house! And now she's here, claiming she's from New Jersey! Come on people, piece it together! She's not from New Jersey! She's from OUTER SPACE!" The whole room went quiet. "Dib, stop ranting about space and sit down." Ms. Bitters shouted. Dib, frustrated, sat down. "Xela, we don't have any desks available yet, so you'll have to sit on the counter at the back of the class."

"I don't mind"

"I don't care whether you mind or not."

"Whatever, lady" As 1st period dragged on, no one neither noticed or cared when Dib continued to try to convince the class that Xela was an alien from beyond the stars. "What about her white hair? No one that's human has white hair." Someone spoke up to shut the paranormal investigator up. "She probably bleached it Dib, now shut up." But Dib didn't listen. "And her eyes! No one who is human has eyes that intense of a shade!" Some of the kids shifted glances at the fact that Dib paid so much attention to that little detail. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Sounds like Dib's got a CRUSH ON THE NEW GIRL!" Shouted the same kid who said 'Dib's got a bird doodie on his jacket' (reference from: The Frycook Who came From all that space) in the same tone of voice. The entire class burst into laughter. "No I don't! I just wanna prove that she's an alien menace out to destroy all of mankind." Xela leaned over to converse with Zita. "Is he always like this?"

"Yeah. Pretty much. When he gets really bad we just send him to the Crazy House for Boys."

"I see."

"Everyone, be quiet and listen to my lecture of how your all doomed to be pawns in the hopelessly creative hands of fan fiction writers." Once again, 1st period went back to monotonous boringness of bland and hardly random events- until...

_WAP!_ A reasonably moderate wad of paper, possibly notebook paper borrowed from a neighboring desk of the sender, hit Dib on the back of the head. It took him a moment to realize that the said wad was a note. He uncrumpled it:

_FYI: I am NOT trying to destroy all of mankind or whatever it is you creatures call yourselves_. _I'm not a threat to your species** so leave me alone!**_

After reading this Dib scribbled a response on the paper, then threw it back to the sender:

_How do I know you're not lying to me? What if you are trying to destroy mankind or take over the universe?_

Her response:

_I have better things to do than to waste my time taking over planets and wiping out their species. What, do you think I'm Irken? Don't compare me to those bastards you-_

"YOU THERE! What are you writing?" Ms. Bitters had caught them. Xela glared."None of your business you hag!" The classroom gasped at the alien's display of shamelessness. Ms. Bitters growled. "If you were sitting in a desk I'd transfer you into the underground classroom. But since you're not, I just won't ever give you a desk; I'll just give you detention."

"See if I'll show up!" Suddenly, the whole skool gave a resounding _ring_ as 1st period was over. Despite this, Ms Bitters and Xela were still arguing. "I'll have to contact your parents and ask them why you're so loony-"

"Well you can't! Do you know why? I live alone!" And with that, Xela made an angsty retreat complete with a slamming door. Dib picked up the note and read what Xela had written. "Okay, so your not trying to take over the planet. But what are you up to..."

"Dib! Class is over! Get out of here!" Dib, seeing that Ms. Bitters was still furious of the newcomer's defiance, made a hasty run out of the door. Then, by a moment of fate, he quite literally ran into a certain green alien. "We meet again Dib-worm! Surely you are eager to hear of my next most diabolical plan to destroy your world."

"Uh-huh. That's very interesting." said Dib in an obviously uninterested tone of voice, leaving Zim confused, angry, and late for class to plan out the rest of the day.

Later after skool, Dib had decided to try to follow Xela to find out where she lived, bringing the alien sleep-cuffs from the night before( he always has those at hand nowadays). Sneaking down to the parking lot, he crouched in the bushes like a tiger waiting for it's prey. The paranormal investigator didn't have to wait long, for Xela walked out of the building with a purple and black backpack slung on her shoulders. But which vehicle was hers? Dib wondered this. Was it the red Subaru legacy? No, she passed it. How about the teal Grand Am Pontiac? NO! She passed that one to! Finally, she stopped at a silver Honda Metric scooterchained to a telephone pole. Still sitting among the bushes, Dib took out of his backpack a straw and what looked likea tack. But it only _looked _like a tack. Inserting the tack in the straw and taking aim, Dib shot at the backpack of the rider as she drove off. Dib took out some machine thingy that had Xela on GPS or whatever it was that people use to track some one down. "I'm lucky the High Skool is next to a spy store which sells tiny tracking devices" Dib muttered to himself for no reason in particular except to explain to the reader what that damned tack thing was. Dib emerged from the bushes only to be caught by nearby jocks.

Three bruises and a swirly later, Dib reached his destination. The house was very creepy-looking, what I would say a typical setting for a horror movie. It was in disrepair, and was overdue for a new coat of paint. Why anyone would live here was anyone's guess. Slowly, Dib opened the front door, which surprisingly was unlocked. Dib looked to the monitor of the tracking thingy, which was undamaged from the beating Dib took from the jocks. "It says here that Xela is only five feet away from me." The paranormal investigator looked around. The only possible way that Xela could be five feet away from Dib was that if she was in... "The closet." Slowly, Dib reached his hand towards the rusted handle of the door, and opened it. "Merowww..." growled something from the shadows of the interior of the closet. Without warning, a cat leaped up and attacked Dib, yowling in fury. Fur flew and blood spilled as the killer cat attached itself to Dib head and dug it's claws in. He saw out of the corner of his eye that the tracking device was latched onto the cat's collar "Ahhhhhhhhh--" Dib's screams didn't go unheard. Down the nearby stairs came a very angry old woman. "Get out of my house ya whippersnapper! Ya think of robbing my house again and I'll send fluffy after ya and I'll tell im' to bring back your kidney so's I can eat it fer breakfast." Dib, terrified by the threat of losing a kidney in such a dramatic and painful way, tore the cat from his now bleeding head and charged out the door. "Okay, so that wasn't Xela's house.( no, ya think?) So that must mean that she realized that I was tracking her. Damn it she's smart. If I was tracking down Zim, he would have never have found out. At least, not until it was too late." But then, Dib started laughing to himself, for he had come unto a revelation. "Xela is going to be a lot more challenging to deal with. I'm just glad she's not trying to take over the world..."

(A/N: So what do you think? Didn't expect the old lady, huh? Neither did I! It just came out as I was on a typing spree. Anyway, I still have no idea whether Xela and Dib are going to get together; probably not. It depends on what's best for the plot. The upcoming chapters are gonna have some crazy things happen; Xela explains why she's here, there's a fight(a physical one involving minor blood loss cuz Xela's got some claws!) And, yes, the old lady will make a second appearance and someone(not Dib) losses a kidney!)


	2. ch 2: The Keef Pursues!

Ch 2: The Keef pursues!

Nearly three days had passed since Xela's arrival to Earth. Once again, Dib tried all throughout 1st period to convince the unconcerned class that Xela was an alien, but to no avail. Dib tried interrogating the visitor from the stars on the reason to why she was here, which was just as effective, if not less. "Look, I already told you, I'm not wasting my time trying to take over a planet that isn't any of use for me except-" As if catching herself from revealing a scandalous secret, Xela clasped her hand over her mouth. "Except what?" Questioned the paranormal investigator. "It's none of your business why I'm here, so just drop it and leave me alone!" The entire cafeteria went silent at the argument between the two( It was lunch time when Dib confronted Xela). The alien grabbed Dib by the shoulder and dragged him out into the courtyard, which apparently was located next to the cafeteria. Pinning the helpless human to the wall with her right hand, Xela brandished her claws with her left hand. "How many times do I have to tell you this to get it through your gigantic head? **_Leave. me. alone._** Bother me one more time and I'll call your Earth authorities on you."

"But, you're an alien. You can't-"

"Guess what, Dib? No one believes you. I pass off as human so perfectly that they'll just send you to The Crazy House For Boys- like _always_." Dib, being stripped of his only strength, which might've worked on Zim, stammered. "Just you wait, alien scum! Someday I'll expose you for what you really are-" The cat-like alien dug her claws into Dib's shoulder. "And what makes you think that you'll live to see that day?" just then, an annoying _riiinggg_ sounded through the skool signaling the end of lunch. But to Dib, that annoying ring was music to his ears, for Xela had left him to head off to English.

After that little incident, Dib decided that it would be wiser to just observe Xela to find the answers he sought. For the next month, by observing her he found out many things. First of all, the planet Xela came from was artistically inclined, for she excelled in her extracurricular classes such as art and ceramics. But, while observing her in web design, he found out that she wasn't exactly skilled in computers. In fact, the first computer she touched blew up. So Mr. Jones, the web design teacher, decided that she was too doomed to learn how to use a computer so he sent her to the library to pick up some books to bring back for reading while the rest of the class were assigned a computer.

But how was Zim doing during all of Dib's observing? Clearly, Zim wasn't used to being ignored by Dib, so he came up with as many 'schemes' to take over the world as he could, no matter how silly it was(even for Zim) "Dib-beast! Witness my long-awaited triumph over the human race. My plan is simple yet deadly: launch an army of cat-nip starved kittens upon city hall! Bwahahahaha! Wait. That didn't hail the Dib's attention. Uh, how 'bout this: evil mutant couches will be hypnotized to—ahh! Get away!" Gaz hit Zim upside the head with her lunch box. "Dib left the cafeteria an hour ago, you moron."

After skool, Zim was walking home to check on the zombie turkey experiment when- "Heya Buddy!" An unfortunately familiar voice filled the fall air. Zim turned about to face--- "KEEF!" instincts taking over, Zim ran as far as he could from the red-headed stalker. "Where are you going Zim? Wait up!" And so Keef pursued the Irken as the Irken in turn tried to put as much distance in between himself and Keef. Finally he stopped at a house that by now you dear readers are familiar with: The house of Doxy, the Kidney-eating old Lady! And, by a bad stroke of luck for both fleer and pursuer, they had no idea who lived in that creepy old house.

Back to Web Design, Xela came back to the computer lab with a quite content look on her face. "Why are you smiling, alien?" Dib asked the space castaway, who sighed. "Fine, if you have to know." Xela then proceeded to hand Dib the book she checked out on astronomy. "Trying to see if we know the location of your home planet?" The alien shot Dib a dark, yet hurt, look. She snatched back the book. "No." Xela's words were as cold and cruel asanicy winter. While the rest of the class studied computers, Dib studied the look in Xela's eyes as she gradually flipped through the book. It was a distant look, the look of a traveler too far from home... and for a moment, Dib felt a ping of sympathy for the feline-like alien.

Zim leaped into the open window of the creepy house. Keef followed not too far behind. "Wait up, buddy! I haven't seen you in so long- it's almost as if you're avoiding me." Luckily for Zim, Keef didn't see the Irken dash into the kitchen and instead headed towards that dreaded closet. Slowly, and suspensefuly, Keef turned the knob. Just then, there was a ring. It was the door bell! Creepily, the front door swung ajar, and there in the doorway stood- a pizza delivery boy, straight from Bloaty's Pizza Hog.( you were expecting Doxy, yes?) "Hello? Is anyone here?(the pizza delivery boy can't see over the mountain of pizzas he was holding) Your pizzas are here. I was told to come to the 'creepy house where weird things happen' at first I thought it was this house, but now I'm thinking it's that creepy green house." Zim, heard the entire thing. "Gir!" The Invader slapped his gloved hand to his forehead. "Hello? Is anyone- AHH! Some one get it off me!" Fluffy, who completely ignored Keef, immediently pounced on the defenseless pizza delivery boy. Doxy could be heard upstairs. "Did you get that pizza boy Fluffy? It's about time; I knew that whippersnapper who egged my house worked for Bloaty's! Hold im' down Fluffy; I'm commin' with the kidney harvester!" Zim, too scared of both Keef and Doxy to stick around, left the vicinity the way he came(you remember that window?) And Keef, wanting to spend time with Zim, followed him just before Doxy came into view.

What was Dib doing during all of this excitement? Yes! He was following Xela to find out where she lived. Despite it being over a month since Xela landed on Earth, Dib still hasn't found out where she lived (pretty pathetic huh?) No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep up with that scooter she always drove. It seemed to go too fast to be a normal scooter, so Dib concocted a theory that, given that Xela's people's ships can transform, that scooter was her ship in disguise. Suddenly, Dib came up with an idea: If he can't get to Xela's house, then why not lure her into his house?

Alien and stalker both fled the house as a blood curdling scream along with the sickening sound of ripping flesh echoed around the neighborhood. Doxy's triumphant yet withered laughter followed like Keef followed Zim. "Must get away...from...**Keef!**" Zim panted as his pursuer kept up the chase. Suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, Gir (in his canine disguise) flew down and collided with the red-head named Keef. "Dancing Chickens!" the metallic sidekick shouted to no one in particular. "Gir! Get me outta here! Now!" Gir treaded off the now unconscious Keef. "Okey- dokey, lord of the zombie turkeys!" And with that, Gir and Zim rode off to their secret base. "Gir, remind me to let you play with Nick when we get home." Zim said to his minion in midair, who squealed with joy. Suddenly, a streak of silver flew past, almost knocking Zim off the robot. "Hey, watch where you're going, stink-beast!" the streak stopped. It was actually Xela piloting her scooter-disguised spaceship(props to Dib for guessing correctly). She had her hair tucked into a helmet and was wearing goggles, so Zim, who knew of her existence, did not see her more individual features. She zoomed closer to the irken. "Hey! You're the jackass that shot me down! I'd recognize that voice anywhere." Zim, who had forgotten the whole episode, went "huh?"

'_Mother was right; Irkens are idiots.' _She shook her head at the forgetful alien. "Wait! You're the one who wanted to take my mission!"

"What mission?"

"My mission for world conquest!"

"Oh, so now your people are at it- **_again_**! When will you disgusting Irkens learn?"

"Learn what?"

"That the universe wasn't meant to be yours! Your race failed fifty years ago to take over the universe- it will fail again!"

"Wait! Your talking about the war are you? Then that must mean you're a-" Zim uttered the name of Xela's species as if it was a parasite. "-Nalian." And with that, Zim took a ray gun from his PAK. "Prepare to be destroyed, filthy Nalian!" and fired at his sworn enemy.

Meanwhile, Dib was executing Phase 1 of his amazing plan. He went to the nearest grocery store and went to the pet section. There he grabbed every bag of catnip he could carry. He figured that, since Xela had claws and displayed similar qualities as a cat, she might have the same reaction to catnip as, well, a cat. Ignoring the cashier's weird look, he bolted out of the grocery store and headed home to execute Phase 2 of his amazing plan.

"Take that!" Zim shot at Xela again, but she dodged it. "Destroying you will be one of my greatest victory ever!" Zim took another shot at the alien, but, with her cat-like(pardon the pun) reflexes, Xela easily dodged the next shot. Suddenly an intoxicating aroma met her sensitive nose. It was something she never encountered before. The smell was sort of sweet, with a hint of bitterness to it. It dulled the rest of her senses, for Zim shot at her. But, being the poor marksman that he is, Zim missed his target and instead of hitting her heart, the fiery laser shot just grazed her shoulder. That was what brought her back to her present situation. She gripped her left shoulder in pain. "I would love to stay and dodge your cheap shots some more, but certain events have come into play. Therefore, I must finish this if I am to get anything done." Xela then proceeded to push buttons that shouldn't even exist on a normal scooter. The headlight flipped back to reveal a small laser cannon. Xela, known for being compassionate even to her enemies, set the laser's power from "fry to a crisp" two notches down to "seriously hospitalize".

"Eat this." She then pressed a small green button. With incredible accuracy, she shot Gir in his right eye. Soon Zim and his defective robot companion were plummeting to their doom. That taken care of, Xela then proceeded on her newfound quest to discover the source of that as mysterious as it was intoxicating smell.

Not too far away, Dib was boiling the catnip over a hotplate and fanning the aroma out the open window, which was covered with reinforced steel bars to discourage any unexpected visitors, which were coming by the dozen. Gaz and Professor Membrane then walked into the kitchen ( that was where Dib was boiling the catnip.) "Son, why are you drawing in every cat in town here?" Dib immediently responded. "Dad, do you remember when that spaceship crashed here over a month ago?"

"I remember a lot of things, son. Just not that."

"Well I'm trying to capture the alien that was inside that spaceship using catnip." Gaz scoffed. "You're plan's stupid, Dib. No one's gonna fall for that." Leaving a dispirited Dib to his thoughts, Gaz departed to her room in search of her Game Slave 2, which, surprisingly enough, she left at home today. The paranormal investigator shook his head. "No! This plan will work! It will..." Just then, he heard a resounding hiss, and all of the cats scattered. Knowing who it was, Dib grabbed the nearest skillet and hid behind the door, which, as always, he left unlocked. The door opened, and in walked the alien. Then, in an unexpected moment, Xela collapsed, rendering the skillet in Dib's hand unnecessary. Flabbergasted, Dib emerged from his hiding spot. "What the?...Why did she?..." He found his answer instantly, for he saw the blood from Xela's shoulder wound.

(A/N: To those who are wondering, what took place between Zim and Xela wasn't the fight I promised. In the original story( yes, this is a rewrite of one of the fanfictions taken from my notebooks) Zim and Xela's first fight took place in the cafeteria, and by then Dib and Xela had already become friends. In this story I'm kind of prolonging that because I wanted Xela to have this 'trust no one' loner's attitude. But I promise, in chapter 3, Xela will reveal why she is here. Well, from the summary, we all know that she ran away. But from who? Stay tunned for chapter 3! If you're wondering about the whole notebook comment, before I got an account on this sight, I was a 'busy little writer' (I'm quoting SaiyanKing Vegeta here) making up stories to publish on this site. Among these stories a crossover of 'Invader Zim' and 'Phantom of the opera' which, due to bad writing, (and the fact that another, more skilled writer, has already done that) I have decided not to publish it. I kinda wanted that to be my first story, but, by a pure whim, wrote and published 'The Stranded' instead. )


	3. ch 3: Origins

Ch 3: Origins

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, neither Lucky Charms. I do remember eating the stuff though (the cereal, not the show) as breakfast during my elementary school years.

Dib was surprised to see that Xela's blood was bright red, just like humans. Knowing that she was from outer space, he kind of expected her blood to be green, like Zim's. But no, there it was, red as a dying sun during sunset, staining the hardwood floor of Dib's house. Dib, who also had before shown compassion, decided to aid his so-called 'enemy'. Gently he picked her up, and was surprised. He knew she was very skinny, but he didn't expect her to be _this _light!_'Hmm...maybe her muscles are built differently than a human's.' _the paranormal investigator thought to himself. _'That I'll have to look into later. But for now...'_ he glanced down at the unconscious alien in his arms, _' She needs some help.'_

The last thing Xela remembered was walking into the house which was somehow the source for the intoxicating aroma that, technically, caused her wound. When she came to, the first thing she felt was a jolting pain in her shoulder. "Ahh..." the cat-like alien gripped her shoulder. She then realized the wound she received had been bandaged, and was laying on some sort of cot bed in (she glanced around at her surroundings) what looked like a lab."What the?.." As if on cue, Dib walked in carrying a sackful of food he raided from the fridge. "You're awake." Xela, deciding to forget who she was talking to, opened her mouth to speak. "How long have I been here?" Dib was unpacking the sack of food into a small fridge on the other side of Xela's cot. "Well, you've been out cold for a day now. I told the school that you've come down with the liver flu, so that'll give you some time to gain back your strength."

"Where am I?"

"Deep within the bowels of my house. Usually my Dad is the only one who comes down here, considering that this is what you would consider a 'home office' for him. And besides, my Dad has banned me from his labs since..." Dib then remembered when he tried to raise the dead when he was younger, and since then Professor Membrane had never let Dib hear the end of it. (A brief reminder: _'Son! There better not be walking dead up there!' ' It's nothing to worry about, Dad. And I said I was sorry about that!'_) Dib shuddered. "Since when?"

"It's nothing." Dib dismissed the subject with a wave of his hand. "I'm assuming that, since you're here, you were the one who bandaged up my wound?" Xela sensed a need to change the subject, and, as the Nalian saying goes, it never hurts to trust your instincts when they're telling you something. "Yeah. You were bleeding pretty badly when you got here."

"What was that smell I followed?"

"Hmm? Oh, you're talking about the catnip. Well, I kind of figured that, since you're so much like a cat, that maybe catnip would work to lure you here. And I think your ears..." Dib pointed to Xela's snow white cat ears, "...proves my point." Xela then realized the armband she was wearing was knocked off when she got hit. It was something she stole from a female Irken that was floating in space in a escape pod (yes, I'm talking about Tak). "Wait a second, what do you mean by 'lure you here'? This was a trap, wasn't it?" Dib refused to make eye contact. "Yes, it was." the cat-eared alien sat upright. Or at least tried to; the pain in her shoulder restrained her from doing so. "I can't believe I fell for that." she muttered to herself, using the hand attached to her good arm to rub her head. Xela could feel an upcoming headache. A thought just came across her mind. "Wait a second. Why... did you help me? You know, when I was bleeding to death." Dib, who was still looking for the answer himself, shrugged. "Dib!" The frightening cry of Gaz echoed all the way down to where Dib and Xela were. "We're out of cereal; go to the store and get some more." Dib slapped his hand to his forehead. Now he remembered the item he forgot to get while at the grocery store. "I gotta go." Dib edged the mini-fridge closer to his 'captive'. "Help yourself if your ever hungry while I'm gone." And with that, the paranormal investigator trudged up the stairs and out the door to make a perilous trip to the grocery store. The trip would be perilous because Zim's zombie turkeys escaped from the lab and were wreaking havoc on the neighborhood, knocking over cars and whatnot.

Moments after Dib had left, Xela stared at the contents in the fridge. For the past month, she had been surviving by eating food she packed into the storage pods of her ship. She was more curious than picky at the moment, so she opened the fridge (which I might add was close enough for her to open it without moving from her current state). The first food item she encountered was a can of tuna. For a few minutes Xela attempted to open it, (by biting and scratching the top) but seeing that it required the use of a can opener, she put it back and proceeded to the next item. It was an orangeish-redish fruit. It's skin was fuzzy, and when Xela brought it close to her sensitive nose, she detected a sweet aroma to it. Instantly she found a produce sticker and, due to living on earth for over a month, she could read the Earthen alphabet. "Peach." The alien read from the sticker. Wanting to find out it's taste, she used her claws to peel away the fuzzy skin and took a bite. Xela was more surprised at how juicy it was than at how sweet it was. Due to her injured shoulder, her left arm couldn't prevent the juice from slipping down her chin. Just then, Gaz stomped into the room. She still kept up her unhealthy diet of pizza and soda, and she still played video games in excess, so the only thing keeping her from obesity was her job. What does she do for a living? Why being the body guard for their insalubriously paranoid mayor (who is called Mayor-Person due to lazy writing). Believe me- **_no one who wants to keep all of their limbs_** would approach Mayor-Person while she was around. It's surprising how many people in this story aren't attached to their limbs (pardon the pun II). For a brief moment, Gaz stared at the alien. "So, you're the reason why Dib keeps on coming down here. I thought he was trying to raise the dead again...or was cooking up another hare-brained scheme to catch Zim." Xela's ears perked up, which creeped out Gaz a little (Gaz? Creeped out? Now I know I'm getting OOC) "Zim? You mean that idiot that shot me?"

"Oh, so he's the one who did that to your shoulder. I thought that was Dib's fault."

While Xela and Gaz carried on their surprisingly civil conversation, Dib was battling a zombie turkey who had in his possession the last box of cereal in the city. "Hand over the Lucky Charms, evil zombie turkey! Or prepare for something...interesting..." Suddenly, the paranormal investigator got an idea. "Hey! Look over there!" Dib pointed to the direction of a delectable looking ham (which was something quite random: I am, of course, very fond of ham considering we have it for Easter dinner every year). Fooled by the wily teenager, the turkey looks towards the succulent candied ham as the said wily teenager grabs the box and dashed for the exit. "Hahaha! You fell for my trick you-" but he failed to finish his sentence, considering the fact that Dib had paid no attention to where he was going and collided with a hobo named Alex who came in to get his usual dinner of Top Ramen.

"You think Dib did this to me?" Xela asked her new found friend. "I mean, I know he can be a jerk sometimes, and he's a little annoying, but I don't think he could do something like that, then try to help the one he hurt." Gaz raised a sleek eyebrow. "Why is he helping you anyway?" But before Xela could shrug, Dib burst in, bruised, cut, and in torn clothing. "What took you so long?" Gaz demanded. Dib gave her a staid look "you don't wanna know." Gaz, who knew her brother, knew that he put the cereal somewhere where she could find it easily and bolted up the stairs to get it. Dib stood there for a moment. "You didn't answer me when I asked you why you saved my life. But since you did save my life, I'll answer your question."

"What?"

"You kept on asking me why I came here. Out of gratitude, I'm going to answer your question. It's a long story, so please sit down. It's also a bit confusing at first, but it makes more sense near to the ending so... please don't interrupt." Dib nodded, mostly to say that he won't. Xela sighed. "This is how it happened...

"Fifty one of your Earth years ago, I lived on a planet called Nalia. The inhabitants of my home planet were like me; Cat ears, claws, tails, such things your people see only in anime and manga.

My people were artistic and peaceful. We honored individuality, yet cherished values such as family and friends. But we did know how to fight. I guess our styles of fighting is what your people would call a martial art, yes?"

"Anyway, we didn't advance much on technology except in things that would enhance the quality of our artwork. My mother was a potter, and my father a metalsmith. I learned both of their trades, mostly because I liked both making vases and forging medallions."

"But one day, our peaceful way of life was brought to a halt. The Irken armada invaded our planet. It turned out that the core of our planet held an exuberant amount of the gem your people call "rubies" which increased the power of the Irken's laser canons by one hundred percent."

"The Irkens are our exact opposites: While we use peace, they use war. While we are artistic, they are bureaucratic. Instantly, we both learned to hate each other. The Irkens tried to take over the planet, but we fought back. Their advantage was technology, ours was skill in our primary fighting style, Kamper Somen Katt" Xela showed signs of going to the verge of tears. "Many lives were cut short on both sides. Our people came to a life-changing decision: rather than to loose and have the entire universe taken over by the Irkens, we would destroy our own planet. All civilians were evacuated to space stations our government bought by trading with Vortian leaders."

"The Evacuation was chaotic. My people's government were inexperienced with the subject. During the process, I was separated from my parents and pushed into a cryogenic freezing compartment that someone had accidentally left open. There I 'slept' for fifty years until someone wandered into the forgotten cryogenics lab and discovered me."

"When I was awaken, everyone I knew was dead. My parents, my friends- everyone! My people were not the same; they had advanced in technology. They still lived in the space stations, wandering the galaxy like gypsies. But, the thing that broke my heart the most, was that they had forgotten the creative side of their souls. They left it unused, undiscovered, unnurtured."

"I tried to adjust, but couldn't take it. One year after I was revived, I stole an escape pod and searched for a place that resembled my now destroyed planet. At first, my efforts to find a new home weren't so successful. But then I heard from some friendly Plookisians that there was a planet similar to Nalia. The native from Earth that was traveling with them confirmed it."

"So here I am, trying to start a new life on your planet." Dib felt guilty: He pestered her, called her names and stalked her (whenever he could keep up with her, of course). Now that he knew that he was making Xela's attempt at a clean slate worse, he felt like beating himself up with an unnecessarily**_ HUGE_** textbook that they issue at school. Xela then asked Dib a strange question. "Dib, why does liquid come out of a human's eyes?" The paranormal investigator raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What?"

"I've seen it happen in this thing your people call 'TV'. What does it mean? When liquid pours from a human's eyes?" Dib hesitated, trying to gather his thoughts on how to explain this to her. "It's what we do when we're sad. Sad in a way that words can't possibly describe. It's called 'crying'." Xela sighed. "I see the humans in TV, and sometimes- no, always. I always wish that I could cry too. That way, I can let out the pain I've felt over the things I've been through." Dib still felt guilty over what he had done. Later, while he was changing Xela's bandages. "Xela?"

"Yeah?" It took awhile for Dib to muster up the courage to say this. "I'm...I'm sorry. Sorry for being such a jerk to you all of this time, thinking that you were a threat to all of mankind. If you don't want to speak to me anymore, I'll understand." Xela used her good arm to help Dib finish tying the bandage (all of this OOC is causing him to be bad with knots) "What makes you think that I'm going to stop speaking to you?" Dib was so surprised that he tied the knot too tight. After making more loose adjustments, "You're going to keep speaking to me? But, no one ever speaks to me again after I screwed things up for them." Xela shrugged, wincing from the pain. "Well, after spending more than a day in your lovely basement/lab/your dad's home office talking to you, I found that underneath that annoying exterior of yours lies an ethical human being with an intense devotion to protecting his home planet. Also, someone who bandages the wounded very well. And you saved my life. I'd say that makes up for your antics in a significant way." _'Besides'_ she thought to herself, _'I really need a friend right now. Someone who understands this world I'm trying to adjust to.' _Dib turned to the door to leave (it was night around then and he was getting tired) With a 'good night.' he closed the door behind him and ascended up the stairs.

(A/N: So, what do ya think? Odd, I know, that Xela can't cry; her species lacks the lacrimal gland, which, according to my sister (who, I might add, aced anatomy) is what makes the tears one cries. Sorry this chapter is so late; I got caught up in reading "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" Hilarious book. The movie is not as good as the book (isn't that always the case?). And recently I just finished the book "Carrie" by Stephen King. Very gory, but then what horror story isn't? Anyway, The character Alex the Hobo is inspired by my best friend's boyfriend, who is downright obsessed with Top Ramen. And he eats with chopsticks. I don't see it as an odd thing considering I eat with chopsticks to. To find a name for Xela's fighting style, I went to I tried to get a translation from the Chinese language, but couldn't. So I chose Norwegian instead. Norway Rocks. England does to. New Zealand's cool as well. **_JAPAN ROCKS!_** )

(A/N, part 2: Kamper Somen Katt is Norwegian for 'fights like a cat'. Just to let you know!)


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